Boys don’t cry, but maybe they should?
It’s World Mental Health Day, and according to ‘Our World in Data’, 10% of the global population suffers from some form of mental health issue, and 9.3% of the male population are suffering, most of the time in silence.
But why is it so difficult for men to open up, talk about, and address their mental health?
Stereotyping and society
Even now, in the 21st century, the unspoken stereotype of men being a source of strength still plays a huge role.
Society’s expectations of how men should behave, coupled with the ideals of what ‘masculinity’ is, including being the family breadwinner, dominating positions of power, being in control, and a strong, silent type who shows no weakness does not leave room for mental health problems. This can leave the average man uneasy at the thought of speaking out.
While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel strong, resilient, powerful, and in control, relying on and conforming to those traditional ideals can negatively impact mental health.
Why don’t men talk about their mental health?
From an early age, we teach boys not to cry, to be tough, and to ‘man up’ and, that they are expected never to need help and discouraged from letting anyone know that they need help.
Then, as adults, we expect them to somehow have the emotional strength and intelligence to show vulnerability, and open up when they need help.
It is any wonder, therefore, that men are reluctant to open up and talk about their mental health? In fact, according to a survey by The Priory Group, 40% of men won’t talk to anyone about their mental health, with some of the reasons cited as:
· I’ve learned to deal with it
· I’m embarrassed
· There’s a negative stigma about mental health
· I don’t want to seem weak
Does that resonate with you?
Interestingly enough, the top three causes of stress and pressure in men’s lives are work, money, and health.
How the landscape is changing
Mental health issues, and the importance of talking about those issues have come to the forefront in recent years.
And for men, in particular, slowly but surely the tide is also turning. Many men in prominent positions are opening up about their struggles with mental health, which is helping other men to step up and speak out. There have also been many initiatives to highlight men’s mental health.
Tips to help yourself
Many people struggle with their mental health, and the COVID-19 pandemic has increased the number of people suffering from anxiety, stress and depression.
If you’re struggling with your mental health, although not a permanent fix, here are some great things you can do to help yourself:
Acceptance
As Dr Seuss said: “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
The effort it takes, to try and be like everyone else is exhausting and takes its toll mentally. We are all different and learning to accept your talents, your flaws, and ultimately yourself is one of the best ways to help yourself.
Talk
It’s good to talk! (Did anyone else read that in a Bob Hoskins accent?)
If you have someone you can trust and confide in, be it a partner, family member, close friend or even your doctor talking to them when you feel troubled can help you deal with the situation at hand and help you stay in good mental health.
However, if you find it uncomfortable to open up, have a think about why you find it uncomfortable, perhaps they may be the reasons that are stopping you from getting the help and support you need.
Keep active
Exercise is the best anti-depressant out there, and it’s an instant mood lifter as it releases endorphins which make you feel good.
Not only does regular exercise make you look and feel better, but it is also great for boosting your self-esteem, concentration, and sleep.
Healthy diet
What you eat is connected to how you feel, after all, think about how alert you feel after a cup of coffee or a sugar hit.
Food and your relationship with it can also have a long-lasting effect on your mental health.
There is no specific diet that is best for mental health, however a healthy diet full of fruit, vegetables, and healthy fats and grains can, like exercise, help you think more clearly, give you more energy, and improve your mood.
And when it comes to alcohol, drink sensibly.
Take a break
A change is as good as a holiday, that’s what they say and a few minutes can sometimes be all you need to de-stress.
A 5-minute pause from doing the housework, a half-hour break away from the office or even a weekend away, that change of pace is always good for your mental health.
Do something you’re good at
Doing something you’re good at is probably something you enjoy doing, so do it.
Doing something you enjoy helps relax you, and if you’re good at it the sense of achievement you feel all help to improve your self-esteem.
Care for others
Caring for others helps you care for yourself, as it’s a way of strengthening relationships with people close to you which means that when you’re in need you have people to reach out to.
Ask for help
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness in any way, shape or form. No one is superhuman and every single one of us at some time or another gets tired, stressed, overwhelmed or anxious, it’s only natural.
So if things do get too much for you, a sign of strength is asking for help.
Things can and will get better, but the first step and the hardest is to speak out.
And, as a man, it can be difficult to admit you’re struggling, but remember, speaking out about your troubles is not a sign of weakness it’s a sign of strength.
Why do you think men still struggle to open up about their mental health?
Let me know in the comments.
